Sunday, May 30, 2010

Gone with the wind.

I'm gone from this pain.
I'm never coming back.
I'm sorry for the trouble.
Relink me? (thankyou)

Saturday, May 29, 2010

Not your cup of tea?

What sort of tea you want. ):

I have to stop scratching those madafucking mosquito bites.

You used to cover my mosquito bites and hold my hand tight tight. ♥

Friday, May 28, 2010

Baby I will wait for you, cause idk what else I can do.

dont tell me i ran out of time, even if it takes the rest of my life.


BABY I WILL WAIT FOR YOU.
I love you, even if the sky is falling down. ♥




Joel at Bottle Tree Park yesterday.

I had a shopping session with my mother today. Not bad. We actually got along well at town. (Y) but I was having a super duper bad headache. ): horrible terrible vegetable. We had a super good meal at newyork newyork. Mum said there were people there celebrating a birthday. Suddenly reminded me of that time I was at fish and co. with boyfriend. Good memory. ♥

I rmb we watched When In Rome at cine too, with really fab popcorn! (:

Alright, texting syg now. Haha. I bet he doesn't read my blog, so its okay.

Hmm. I realized today is Friday and not Saturday. So, the King Albert Park macs thing will be tml. Hahaha. I'm going for the free macs meal that xuwei the dog will be providing. (: I hope Rachael and the rest are going, if not I'll be bored to death by the dog's barking. Lets hope she doesn't use a mike. HAHA/ Kinda cool place to have remedial eh?

Baby I will wait for you.
I hate my father.
FML. FML. FML.
Fucking son of a bitch.
Fucked up jerk.
Can't you see I'm fucking sad now.
Don't fucking pick on me when I'm alr at my weakest point.
fuck it.

I'm gonna leave home after O level MT. -'-
or now. I'm leaving now.
fuck you to hell.

Since you went away, my heart breaks everyday.

I just woke up.
And I'm really sad now.
Every morning I wake up and jump for my phone to see if you texted me.
Every morning I wake up to disappointment to see other people's message.
And not yours.

Just shoot me dead can?
Just so very very sad.

Please give him back to me.

I was supposed to go to King Albert Park Macs for Xuwei's MT lesson. Cool place eh? But I completely forgot last night. So well, yeah. I was supposed to get a free meal. -'- FML. I bet Rachael went. Can some one ask me out? I want to go out.
I miss you quite terribly. ♥

Thursday, May 27, 2010

Facebook "like" page :  Sometimes you need to run away to see who will come after you.

I ran away, he followed me.
What does this mean?

Lazy thursday afternoon.

I was texting both JessicaT and JessicaR during tuition just now.(:



Had a bit of fun with Joel's Itouch at Bottle Tree Park.
Slacked there with Chels and Joel. Not bad, kept my mind off things for a little while.
I look so horrible terrible vegetable in these pictures.
Chels claims its pretty. -.-

Alright, honestly right, I don't like it when people try to change my opinion of things. Opinions are like assholes, everyone has one. And my opinion of this situation is that he isn't that sort of person. I don't think he's what you say he is. And I refuse to do what you want me to. Period. A lot of people are going, ohhh "he isn't worth your time, blahblahblah". Please go and die. He's my boyfriend, I can judge for myself. And, its not like, I snap my fingers and poof, he's off my mind and heart. Not that simple, ladies. Understand a bit la hor. I rather remember him as the person I know, rather than the person that all of you people describe him as.

So many things have happened. Its an unending string of dramas. I'll just sit back and enjoy the scenery.

I love you, teddybear.
I mean what I say.

loved until i hurt so bad.

Zhijie told me something that made my heart fall.
But I pretended I'm fine infront of him.
Then I told wanting jessicaT and emilia.
I said I'll give up. But emilia told me not to.
So I'll go with what she says.
Cause I myself doubt I can give up.
I doubt I can even stop thinking of him for a day.
Face to face, with you, made me so happy.
So super very happy.
Its like all of a sudden, everything's fine.

Now its all fucked up.
I said I studied right.
I studied like fuck for Amaths and Phys.
I nearly went psycho during the exam week.
Cause I had a lot of troubles and problems.
Everything was all just fucked up.
I screwed it all.
Guess my class ranking?
There's 40 in the class right?
I got the 2nd largest digit.
FML.
I got 39/40 class ranking.
I couldn't be bothered with level ranking.
There's PTM today.
But I didn't bother to tell either of my parents.
Who cares.

Alvin told me to be cheerful.
I will. Alvin is a nice guy. Super. ♥

just to catch one short glimpse of you.
just to see you smiling to me.
just for you to say yes, even if its a tiny bit,
its still yes.

Lies. Cover ups. Mask. Hidden identity.

just wait or stop it all?
listen to what others say or just heck care?
trust jessicaT. wanting. and emilia only.
trust what I see. what I infer myself.
believe in the one I once knew and see myself.

I love you, even if the sky is falling down.

I miss you, I need you.
You're the best I ever had.
The best I ever had.

Fuck June holidays! -'-
I seriously want school to go on.
So that I can at least catch 1 small glimpse of him every morning.
You remember the things you said to me?
The June holidays stuff.
Remember ECP and WWW?
Remember you told me even before we got together that you wanted to bring your girlfriend to ECP.
You remember?
Remember when we played hide and seek at west mall?
And you suddenly appear behind me and scare me. ♥

This June holidays, I'll be spending them alone.
Despite the promises that you made.


hand phone wallpaper.

Alvin bro just gave me good advice.
I'll listen to him.

And I need to stop scratching my mosquito bites.
Like seriously stop scratching them. :/

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Sunflower can smile?


This made me laugh like mad.
Sean's friends. (Y)

Thats what you get during MT lessons.

not angry. but sad and disappointed in you. but for what? long story. I don't really know either. ♥











She loves me. (Y)

Woke up at 8:22am. Reached school around 10+. Got scolded by Kong and Xuwei for disturbing her lesson. -'- All I ever did was open the door of the IT resource room. She's a fucked up dog. Oh no. I meant. She's a coke-ed up dog. (replace fuck with coke). Coke her to hell. I so hate her. She's damn biased. :/

Aw well. Drank 2 bottles of fugi fugi apple ~. Mandy drank 1. (: I think its really nice. I rmb when I told my boyfriend that I wasn't hungry during recess, and he bought it for me. Oh coke it. -'- I told myself to stop thinking of him. But my heart always finds ways to think of him. coke.

Rachael folded some paper and put into the bottles. Like some love letter. :/ Talking about love letter. I made Sean cry when I wrote him a letter some 4 months ago. (Y) Best. I talked with him yesterday night. And I just found out all the shit stuff in the broken relationship. Stuff that took me 5 months to know. Haha. At least I know now yeah. Its great to have my best friend back. HAHA.

Chan Poh Loong saw me and Rachael together during break. And he was like "this one your best friend ah?" like. coke. So awkward ttm. Friend got best or not best friend one mey? Friend means friend right. Thats all there is to it. He sounds so coke-ing childish. -.-

Talked a lot with Mandy and Rachael about life. And well, my boyfriend. cokeeeeee. He's probably at aikido now. I like... know his schedule for everything. I feel like his stalker. But please, I'm not. (:

thats when you realize, you should have jumped off a bridge rather than fall in love.
and why did I fall so hard in love with you?

FML.

headache + messed up.

I think right now, I should just assume its no.
I shouldn't keep telling myself that you'll say yes.
cause what if you said no.
all my hopes would be shattered.
just like the mirror in the dance studio.
my heart would be shattered.
I think its already shattered anyway.

Right now,
I should delete you.
Erase you.
Remove you from my mind.
I should stop going to 288F.
I should stop taking the lift up.
I should stop texting you.
Knowing you won't reply...
I should stop waiting for a moment to catch a tiny glimpse of you.
Whats so important about one tiny little glimpse?
Why do I wait my ass off just to see you.
For now,
I shall assume that I'm a nuisance to you.
I should stop being one.
Now,
I should stop thinking of you.
EVERY single thing reminds me of you.
And the wind blew,
Vanilla essence smelt so good.
I wanted to hug you tight tight.
I should stop.
Stop what I'm doing right now.
I'm having an internal fight.
My brain is going no.
My heart is going yes.
I want to listen to my heart,
yet my brain is over powering it.
Why would he say yes?
He wouldn't.
But then why would he say no,
after being so glad to see me?
Or was I thinking too much?

I want to cut you out from everyone's yearbook and paste you all over my bedroom wall.

Zhijie had something to tell me.
But he was afraid to tell me just now when I bumped into him.
He said he'd tell wanting.
I'll call her later.
Its probably bad news.
oh fuck it.

YOUR VANILLA ESSENCE.

I swear, when the wind blew.
Vanilla essence filled my lungs.
Thanks to you. I'm addicted.
I love you, every single bit.

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Once.

jie : 只在乎曾经拥有的.

曾经拥有的...
曾经拥有的.....

I once had the world's perfect boyfriend.
The one and only best, greatest boyfriend.
I once had someone who really blew my mind away.
Someone who gave me a purpose for everyday.
I once had the world's most nicest guy.
The one who'd never ever break a girl's heart.
A person who'd give in to her.
I once had someone to tell all my secrets.
I once had someone to lean on.
Someone I could cry on.
I once had someone who was there for me.
To hug me tight,
to love me right.
I once had someone.
I once....
ONCE.
ONCE had someone.
Someone who truly loved me with all his heart and soul.
O N C E.
how bout twice?
can I have him back?

曾经拥有的, I want you back.

prepare for the worst?
I don't believe there is a "worst".
but from what people say, i really dk.
I can't even concentrate in exams.
Today's MT paper, I gave up.
I give up on chinese.
Fuck ACJC.

I shouldn't use vulgar.
Next time, I'll replace fuck with coke.
I used to drink that a lot with him.
and caramel frappe. and caramel cookie.
and mocha cookie. and many many.

fugi fugi apple, fugi fugi apple. ~

Yes or no.

If you just said no.
If you said impossible.
If you said no more.
If you said its over.
If you said....

I would have just stopped my shit.

But you said I don't know.
Your famous 3 words.

Your actions are so contradicting.
I don't know to believe the one who I once knew.
Or to believe the one that I'm seeing now.
I don't know to listen to my friends.
Or to listen to my own instinct, my own heart.

Today, I cried in 852 again.

My life is dead. Ever since you said.
"Stef,i got smt to tell you."

I love you, I'm going mad. Really.

Monday, May 24, 2010

I'm so bloody happy now.

KAI AN, you were wrong. (:
I trusted my instincts instead!

Alright, I made the world's best choice today. I made a life changing choice! Like seriously. Its like, to go up? or to stay down? I nearly died making that choice. GREATEST CHOICE EVER. CAUSE 1stly, good. 2ndly, AWESOME. 3rdly, peeeerrfeectt. HAHA. (Y) Wanting made me make that choice. I was damn scared at first but yeah. It just became normal and well. yeah.

Anywwaayyy, was fucking late for school today. I taxied to school and wasted 20bucks. -.- AND I was still late anyway. :/ The uncle was damn nice, he didn't have NETS, so he allowed me to pay 20 only. It was actually 23 plus. (: And the uncle like practically sped past every traffic light luh. Was pissed cause I wasted cash. But who cares.









A bit of self obsession eh? ♥

Alright, I'm in a super duper uber mega good mood now. I'm so happy right now, I bet if you came up to me and said "eh, you stefhanie loh min yu ah?" and slapped me, I'll still smile to you. I might even say hi. Haha. No, I'm kidding. I'm just trying to emphasize how happy I am right now. Don't get me wrong, I'm not the least bit happy about MT intensive. But aw well, the most I can do about it is play around with cameras right? Xu wei is a fucked dog anyway.

Anyway, I was so happy that I went shopping.(:
I usually do that when I'm very very very very happy.
or very very very very sad.
Its quite obvious I'm very very very very happy.
plus, increase in allowance. (Y).
Keep increasing luh, I think my mother's money pop from tree one,

Thank god that wanting existed.
Btw right, don't angry la fuck. -'-

everything about you is perfect.
even running around the corridor barefooted. I'm serious. ♥
and you've got a smile that could light up this whole town.
esp if you smile at me. makes my heart go wild.
i love you for everything you are.
eating pizza also can eat until so (Y).
really feel like bungee jumping now. hahahahaha.

Sunday, May 23, 2010

Mixiu mixiu. Ren Guang Xi. ♥

I love you honey. I really love you so much.
Deluding myself. Pretending you're still mine.




I won't ever want to let go of someone who's so perfect to me.

I have fucked up dreams.

dreammoods.com

Swimming
To dream that you are swimming, suggests that you are exploring aspects of your unconscious mind and emotions. The dream may be a sign that you are seeking some sort of emotional support. It is a common dream image for people going through therapy.
To dream that you are swimming underwater, suggests that you are completely submerged in your own feelings. You are forcing yourself to deal with your emotional difficulties.

Chase
To dream that you are being chased, signifies that you are avoiding a situation that you do not think is conquerable. It is often a metaphor for some form of insecurity. In particular, to dream that you are chased by an animal, represents your own unexpressed and unacknowledged anger which is being projected onto that animal. Alternatively, you may be running away from a primal urge or fear.

Electrocution
To dream of an electrocution, signifies that the current course of your actions will lead to disaster, even death. You need to be more aware of your surroundings and those around you.

Fire
Depending on the context of your dream, to see fire in your dream can symbolize destruction, passion, desire, illumination, transformation, enlightenment, or anger. It may suggest that something old is passing and something new is entering into your life. Your thoughts and views are changing. In particular, if the fire is under control or contained in one area, then it is a metaphor of your own internal fire and inner transformation. It also represents your drive, motivation, and creative energy. Alternatively, the dream may be warning you of your dangerous or risky activities. You are literally "playing with fire".

Cage
To dream that you are in a cage, denotes that you are experiencing inhibitions and powerlessness in some areas of your life. You are feeling restricted, confined and restrained in a current relationship or business deal. Somebody may be keeping a short leash on you. You are lacking the freedom to act independently.

Ex
To dream about your ex-boyfriend/girlfriend or that you and your ex got back together again, suggests that something or someone in your current life that is bringing out similar feelings you felt during the relationship with your ex. The dream may be a way of alerting you to the same or similar behavior in a current relationship. What you learn from that previous relationship may need to be applied to the present one so that you do no repeat the same mistake. Alternatively, past lovers often highlight the positive experiences you had with that person. It could also signify aspects of yourself that you have x'd out or neglected.

Stalk
To dream that you are being stalked, indicates difficulties and problems which you are not confronting. Your avoidance of these problems is not making them go away. If you are being stalked in real life, then this fear may be carried over into your dream state.
To dream that you are a stalker, represents your shadow and the negative part of your Self. It is symbolic of a bad habit which you have unsuccessfully tried to break.

Brother
If you do not have a brother and dream that you have one, then he may symbolize characteristics that you need to acknowledge within yourself. The brother in your dream can also be synonymous with a close friend or buddy. Brother also has religious implications and thus represents spiritual issues. Consider also the familiar phrase "big brother is watching you" which indicate that your dream has to deal with issues of authority and oppression.

Sister
If you do not have a sister and dream that you have one, then it signifies feminine qualities that you need to activate or acknowledge within your own self. Pay attention to the actions and behavior of your dream sister.

Dreams
To dream that you are dreaming, signifies your emotional state. You are excessively worried and fearful about a situation or circumstance that you are going through.

Fall
To dream that you fall and are frightened, indicates a lack of control, insecurity, and/or lack of support in your waking life. You may be experiencing some major struggle and/or overwhelming problem. It may denote that you have failed to achieve a goal that you have set forth for yourself.
To dream that you are free-falling through water, indicates that you are feeling overwhelmed with emotions. You may feel that it is easier to give up, then to try to stay afloat or prevent yourself from going under.

Waterfall
To see a waterfall in your dream, is symbolic of letting go. You are releasing all those pent up emotions and negative feelings. The dream may also represent your goals and desires. In particular, if the waterfall is clear, then it represents revitalization, regeneration and renewal.

Balance
To dream that you loose your balance, suggests that you are having difficulty weighing your options and choices in some situation.

Afraid
To dream that you are afraid, indicates that you are experiencing self-doubt and feelings of incompetence in your waking life. You may be feeling a lack of control. Anger often masquerades as fear, so also consider issues about which you are angry about in your waking life.

Confusion
To dream that you are confused, may reflect your true confused state of mind and the nonsensical events of your dream. Isolate the single element in your dream that is confusing to you and analyze the meaning of that particular symbol. Alternatively, dreams of confusion signifies that you are being pulled in opposite directions or do not know which viewpoint is right.

Envy
To dream that you are envious of others, signifies that you will make warm friends by your unselfish deference to the wishes of others.

Fear
To dream that you feel fear, indicates that your achievements will not be as successful as you had anticipated. You are experiencing anxieties in various aspects of your life. The key to overcoming your fear is to discuss them and deal with them openly.

Pain
To dream that you are in pain, signifies that you are being too hard on yourself with regards to a situation that was out of your control. It may also be a true reflection of real pain that exists somewhere in your body.

Panic
To dream that you are in a panic, indicates a lack of control and power in your life. You may be feeling helpless in some situation or unable to make a clear decision.

Baby
To see a baby in your dream, signifies innocence, warmth and new beginnings. Babies symbolize something in your own inner nature that is pure, vulnerable, helpless and/or uncorrupted. If you find a baby in your dream, then it suggests that you have acknowledged your hidden potential. If you dream that you forgot you had a baby, then it suggests that you are trying hide your own vulnerabilities; You do not want to let others know of your weaknesses.
To dream that you are dipping a baby in and out of water, signifies regression. You are regressing to a time where you had no worries and responsibilities. Alternatively, it is reminisce of when the baby is in the fetus and in its comfort zone. In fact, some expectant mothers even give birth in a pool, because the environment in the water mimics the environment in the uterus. It is less traumatic for the baby as it emerges into the world. So perhaps, the dream your search for your own comfort zone.

Children
To see children in your dream, signify an aspect of yourself and your childlike qualities. You may be retreating back to a childlike state where you are longing for the past and the chance to satisfy repressed desires and unfulfilled hopes. Perhaps there is something that you need to see grow and nurtured. Take some time off and cater to the inner child within. Alternatively, the dream may be highlighting you innocence, purity, simplicity, and carefree attitude.

Friend
To see friends in your dream, signifies aspects of your personality that you have rejected, but are ready to incorporate and acknowledge these rejected aspects of yourself. The relationships you have with those around you are important in learning about yourself. Additionally, this symbol foretells of happy tidings from them and the arrival of good news.
To see your friends, saddened and troubled, in your dream, signifies sickness and distress upon them.

Kidnap
To dream that you are being kidnapped, denotes feelings of being trapped and restricted. Someone or some situation may be diverting your concentration and your attention away from your goals.

Don't you agree that my dream is fucked up? :/

My fucked up dream.
I was in school with Emilia. And strangely, stranger was there. :/ We were looking for zhixiang. Then we found him. And suddenly me and him, normal. -.- Idk why. Then suddenly I heard myself say "ahya, its just a dream" and suddenly I felt my body like got electricity. Then suddenly I got kidnapped. But I escaped. Then there's this girl chasing me. The girl had some power to make those wall-cages thing fall from the sky to trap me. And when I turned around and looked at her, she was very very pretty. And she looked a lot like (insert name). There was fire too. And strangely, I had a elder sister. A younger sister. And 2 younger brothers. One of which was a baby. And we were standing at the top of a very tall pillar. For some reason there was water rushing down the pillar. Like a water wall. And the chaser was behind us. And my elder sister told us a plan. Like a route to escape. Cause there was a swimming pool below us. I swear, there was water everywhere. She told us the plan. She said. My younger brother will carry the baby brother. And she'll take care of my younger sister. And I have to jump alone. And she even plan which direction etc. It was damn scary. Cause my baby brother almost fell down the pillar. And I almost slipped and fell too. But my sister grabbed me before I fell. Then she counted to 3. And all 5 of us jumped down together. That was when I woke up. I swear. It was fucking scary to be chased like that. And the chaser was so bloody near to us. -.-

Dad has just went to packet Chilli Crab for dinner! (Y)
Stranger, jealous? (:

I miss everything about you.♥


Adrian is mad.
He pretended to be on strike.
And he kept saying "NO MORE HP!"
-.-


You know sometimes I don't understand whats up with guys. Always random add people on facebook. And then when you ask them who're you. They'll be like. "I'm (insert name)". I honestly felt like shooting him dead. I told Jeston. And he was like, "go ahead" -'-


YESSS, guess what. TUITION with stranger every tuesday! HEHHHHHH. Imagine how much we'd be talking. Like gossip non stop. About ahem and ahem and ahem and ahem. HAHA. Sorry uh. Info with stranger cannot be disclosed. (: Texting her now anyway. And stranger's friend (Y). She likes KEY. I like key's bangs. (VIVIAN WONG, rmbbbb, dion wanted that hair, haha. He fail man.)

Mum's cooking lunch now. Like late much? Starving. I haven't shopped in like years. I got damn a lot of cash in my bank now cause I seldom eat proper meals. Usually drinking Mac's Caramel Frappe. Used to always go macs with Ted. Cause, well, macs is = him. (:

Aw well.  That was when  the 4 of us were 1 big happy family. Like kfc, macs. Rachael, me. ♥ Super duper many misses. ):

Still missing him. like a lot a lot. ♥

Low Yong Xing commented on my fb status
"ME? KIDDING I NTH TO DO. LOL".
Super dumb to the max.

Dad's camera.





I really really think, I'm thinking too much.


I hate it when I see my friend so sad and down, yet I cannot do anything to help. All I can tell him is to cheer up. And not to think too much. All I can tell him is to go to sleep, and it'll all be better tml. You know how dumb that feels? I can't even help you when you need the help. I feel so useless. And worse of all, I'm the only one you can turn to. I'm the only one who even knows. I really need to talk to stranger about this. Headache ttm cause of everything. Notice the time. (Y)

Stranger was talking to me on msn, and suddenly my internet died on me. ): I feel so bad. Cause she was talking to me about her troubles. And I didn't even realize that my computer was cocked up. _|_ I texted her, then I restarted my computer and went to take a midnight shower. I froze to death. :/ When I came back, she was offline alr. ): I nearly died.

Anyway, I wished on 11:11pm. I wished for him to message me. And immediately after I wished, my phone rang with a text. I really nearly fell off my seat. But when I checked, it wasn't him. It was a friend, texting me how sad he is and everything. You know I'm a gazillion times sadder than you? Just that I don't want to inflict my troubles onto someone who's already troubled enough. Cheer up. (:

Oh damn. I think me, stranger and Emilia have been having mood swings. A lot of mood swings. Super duper ultra mega sorry to twin for exploding yesterday after school. The weather was damn cocked up. And you weren't even listening when I was talking. Haha. I'm really sorry for losing it. (: Btw right, you should UNLOCK! And keep saying so what. It may be a painkiller for you. But, I doubt it works for us. Its temporary. ): Sadly.


I miss everything about you.
♥

Saturday, May 22, 2010

I just super duper duper love you.
no reason. ♥

babybabybaby, ohhhhh.

gao su wo, wo xian zai gai zhen me ban?

should I be happy now?

They tell me I have lack of sleep.
The most I sleep is 2 to 4 hours.
but ytd night, I slept peacefully.
For 10 hours plus. ♥

Friday, May 21, 2010

没有人可以了解我对他的爱有多深.


I printed this picture for you.
I wonder if you threw it away.
You're not that heartless right?

so torn apart.
i'm so so torn apart.
when's the next time i get to see you?
when's the next time i get to talk to you?
when. when. when?
i really think,
you belong with me.

teardrops on my guitar. its not fake.
real tears. real drops. real guitar.

real pain.

Marshall talked to me today.
M: Why you still wear the ring?
S: Hmm, I don't know.
M: You still love him?
S: Yeah, why? ):
I almost cried in front of him. _|_

(while sleeping during P2, the teacher woke me up. and when I looked at the time, 11:11. the same wish again)

I UPDATED MY TUMBLR! click please.

Mixiu mixiu.

Rmb we went to lot1 to buy your cap?
Ended up we bought it from Fareast?

Rmb when you took my hand and put it at your heart?
And told me that you knew you love me, because.

Have you ever met a guy........
I have met a guy. A perfect one.

H E A R T ache.






and suddenly it all went wrong.
bestfriend/stranger, tell me what to do.
or stranger's friend, tell me what to do.

if I see another "her", I promise I'll kill myself.
I want to smoke so badly again.
He went to buy another pack again. Faints.

Today got no MT remedial. (Y)
I had the MT prelims, unexpected!


A girl loves it when you give her your coat when she feels cold .
A girl loves it when someone try to comfort her when she cries & wipe away her tears .
A girl loves itwhen you call or text her every night & wish her sweet dreams .
A girl loves it when you know how to treat her well .
A girl loves it when you invite her into your world .
A girl loves it when you sing for her even though your voice isnt good .
A girl loves it when her boyfriend could also be her brother & daddy .
A girl loves it when you just be yourself & dont try to be anyone else in her eyes .
A girl loves it when you treat her to be your priority .
A girl loves it when you express your feelings through a song .

So true. ♥

I don't wanna walk S-O-L-O.
I don't ever wanna let your love go.

Thursday, May 20, 2010

I trust you. I don't care what people say alr. ☺





I hope we all take this as a learning experience.
Learn from mistakes like such stuff. And use it to become stronger in life.

Today Marshall and Khaeruddin said some things that made me break down during PE lesson. I was inside the Indoor Sports Hall's toilet with Akila & Lia baby. I cried myself upside down, inside out and left side right. Crying so much, made me realize, things are only done well, if you do it yourself. And so, I did the most unexpectable thing. And no, I don't regret it. (: Thank you for sitting with me and hugging me when I couldn't stop the tears. And thank you for sacrificing awesome PE time to accompany me, and to watch me red faced, crying like a doofus. Thanks, I really appreciated it. A lot. I love you. ☺

And Marshall, thanks for apologizing. I really didn't see that coming.

After school I had a little talk with a few friends, RIGHT, TWIN? (: ♥

Sad thing about today?
I lost the pen that mum gave me. ):
I bumped into jh and jh in 852.
And I cried cause I was down.
And I kept crying.
They didn't notice, and they alighted.
One stranger kept looking at me.

I honestly wish someone would sit beside me, hug me really tightly,
and say. "Don't worry, I'll be there for you. And I love you.".

btw, I couldn't concentrate during tuition. ):

More results update,
(since I was lazy the past few days.)

Best results are on top.
Worst results are below.

English.
59%. B3.
Maths.
55%. C5.
Physics.
54.4%. C6.
Chinese.
44.3%. E8.
A Maths.
30+%. F9.
(I was so lazy to record A Maths down,
cause I know the results would suck.)
Chemistry.
28.3%. F9.
Humanities.
23%. F9.

L1R5 - 40.
L1B4 - 31.

Best man. (Y) I want go ITE, they also don't want me. (: Haha, alright. I need to go for intensive MT and Chem. Intensive MT starts tml. Intensive Chem starts during June. I can do this! For prelims, I aim for at least A2 for each subject. Then I'll study until I get A1. HAHA, ALL TALK, BUT NO WORK.

6 points for O levels!

I wished on 11:11 twice today. And once again, I wished for the same person. I wished for the same thing over and over again. Everyday, without fail, you're in my mind. I may not show it, but without fail, I'd think of you. You're the light that makes me smile. And the one who pulls me through the day no matter how hard it was. You make me realize a lot of important small things in life. I love you, I really do. I don't care how much it would hurt me. But if people say "move on." I wouldn't listen to them. I'd listen to my own heart. Just like how I used to lean on your chest and listen to your heartbeat. Cause that was what told you how much you loved me. Remember? And. For you and for myself, I promise I'll do well in O levels. For the strangers who have been there for me, thank you, I love you.

This has made me stronger.
Emilia, you're right. ♥

Big big disappointment.

tell me who to believe now?
tell me who to trust.
blood is thicker than water.
fuck, i have no family anyway.
look at my family.
fucked up.

people see things. they judge things. they manipulate the truth. they tell lies. they complicate up things. they say things according to their own pov. thats why, i said, its better to talk to a stranger. i've been on the phone with stranger these few days. it made me realize that not everyone is good. and you've got to know who to believe and who not to. and you gotta know if the person is really worth loving. if he's really worth hurting for. is he worth it? has he been lying to me all the while? i think he's worth it. and i don't think he's been lying. i believe him. you know, to truly love a person, is to love the person, regardless of their flaws. to love everything about the person. like, really really everything. and not just love the person when he/she is treating you well and stuff. you know.

i think through all if these, i learnt a lot.

and honestly, i'm still disappointed that you didn't see things through my pov. like, try putting yourself into my shoes. like, after all these, you know how'd i feel right. and those things i said, were out of frustrations. and not because of anything else or what. honestly. i removed it the next day. cause i realized my emotions weren't stable then. but when you saw it. you alr immediately judged me. you immediately assumed my reason for posting that for something else. like. really. can you just ask me. i dare you. i really dare you to pull yourself together, and fucking come here and talk to me. and ask me. don't just stare at these words and not do anything. i didn't mean any harm. honestly. i'm not lying. don't you think life would be easier if you don't judge or assume. instead, find out the real truth to it all. don't be angry at someone over something that you assumed. don't you think its a waste of everything. a waste of your energy to be angry. a waste of your time to think. don't use the "anger" as an excuse to stay away.

i dare you.

braces would hurt. ):

MIDYEAR L1R5, 42.
L1B4, 33.


FML.